Be Young And Stupid

I am so excited to get engaged in July. I’ll have the ring, we can continue to plan, and our families will officially know.
I’m having trouble understanding why people my age keep telling me not to get married because “I have a lot more to experience.” So, I have to sleep with other people to know that I want to marry someone I’m with now?
I’m the luckiest person because after being dealt the hand I have, I found my best friend and I get to spend every day for my whole life with him. I found the person who makes me laugh and be silly, who makes me love myself when it’s really hard, who teaches me to know myself more.
I can appreciate the sentiment. But I don’t intend on having other people dictate how I live my life or have my relationship.
I’ve never been happier.
This is the best thing I’ve done for my whole life, just being here.

This is what my blog is about. Something bad happening and then good things afterwards. Life goes on.
I’m getting married next year.
I can barely believe it.

(Source: thesocietyofgiftedones, via earthwindandherpes)

By boyfriend is NEGATIVE.
And I didn’t have a cold sore.
Best week ever.
I can’t contain my joy and happiness for keeping the love of my life safe from the sorrow I’ve seen in this world.

stisohmy:

“I get frustrated when people state they will not have sex with someone who is open and honest about their [HCV, HIV, HSV, HPV] status – especially if they are willing to have casual and/or anonymous sex with persons whose status they do not know.”

(Source: latinegrasexologist, via earthwindandherpes)

I think I’m getting my first cold sore.
As if GH wasn’t enough.

I think I’m actually getting another OB. Which is shitty not because of anything it prevents me from doing sexually—my boyfriend is away at school until I see him in March—but it’s just more shitty because, well, it’s shitty. 

I haven’t told anyone—my boyfriend, or my mom who I share everything with—and I think I’d just like to keep it that way right now. I don’t need to constantly call attention to this and I kind of just want to pretend that it’s not there. 

I still await the results of my boyfriend’s STD test. So hopefully that will come at a mentally stable time for me…those moments are few and far between these days. The stress of moving and not knowing what to do with my life and having no friends around here at all has sent me into this depressive tailspin—and I’m sure into this outbreak. 

Alas, more junk to come, including the story in which I get closure from my exboyfriend. At least with this OB, I’m not mad at him anymore. I don’t fault him and this doesn’t bring up feelings of being hurt and betrayed like it used to. It’s been almost 2 years since I was diagnosed. Seems like good timing to me. 

I apologize for being so distant. I left you all with the story that I met with my exboyfriend—the man that gave me herpes almost two years ago. I shall elaborate at a later date. 

The matter at hand is my boyfriend. He’s got tested this week for herpes before everyone came back to school. We had agreed that he would get tested again by the end of Summer, but he surprised me by getting tested early. It was something that I wasn’t ready to handle, and that I’m still not sure I’m ready to process at this time.

The anxiety I feel lately upon moving to California and starting a new job is so extreme, I can barely handle anything else. I’m isolated and although I have the support of my family, I have no friends where I live now. I just don’t want to go through this. I don’t want to know what’s coming, because I do know what it is: I’ve given him herpes. 

He probably had his first outbreak this summer, but because it was so minor, the doctor told him he had a 50/50 chance—so he decided not to be tested. He told me, however, that the doctor said he didn’t have it. He kept me at peace. He lied. But he did so, I understand now, for my benefit. 

So, I will wait. So much is changing as of late and out of it all, I never thought I would break my promise. I cried so hard in October of 2011 telling my best friend how I would never hurt someone the way that I was hurt. And now, I’ve got to get okay with knowing that I didn’t hurt him the way I was hurt. He entered into this situation willingly and with full knowledge the way that I never did. I did the best I could. I love him. This is what I know for sure. 

The Perks of Herpes, written by a woman with genital HSV-1 (via stisohmy)

(via earthwindandherpes)

My heart is so conflicted as of late.
Dream boy seems to be losing his touch.
I seem to be the very last person on a list of priorities, or so it feels.
I cannot give all to be left behind.

earthwindandherpes:

dealingwithherpes:

i made a thing i dunno if the wording is best but eh

oh my god oh my god oh my god

I LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

(via inwiththegood)

(Source: nikolaiolivier, via cheerstomip)

After almost two years, I will face the man who gave me hsv. I will receive some answers, but more closure. I’m ready to start a new chapter in my life. I’m ready to stop having anxiety attacks and start really taking control of my life.
It’s time.

Why wasn’t everything I gave and gave up enough for him?

Don’t mean to be showy about it but

I’M GETTING LAID IN 24 HOURS.

Sorry. It’s been a long 4 months without him.